Where we're heading next:
Home Sweet Home
Quote of the Day
Peanut, "Wow, mom, now we can say we've been to all 50 states! What are we gonna do next?"
This visit with Auntie proved that Teacher's no-show was actually a gift. (Missed this? See the post Deserted in Gotham City, IL.)
Grandma got to hang out with her sister, and we got to stay at Auntie's house instead of a hotel, which always makes for a better visit. Auntie collects apples and also has a thing for cats and miniatures. (She's the neighborhood Cat Lady you remember from childhood.) Because she's in a wheelchair, the entire house is situated at eye-level with my kids. If only we'd hung a "please do not touch" sign on her front door!
My two cousins popped in for a couple of visits, too, which was really wonderful. We cleared up a lot of details with my childhood memories which I sincerely appreciated. You know, I hadn't seen this part of my family in more than 20 years!
So, Auntie is a bit eccentric and has always been a bit of a legend in our house since the kids learned of our car wreck (see Gerald Champion Hospital post in New Mexico). Even Tomcat laments that he missed this opportunity to finally meet her. She's been through an awful lot in her life and can tell a good story to prove it. I've been intrigued with her and her ideas my entire life. There's this great quote on her fridge: "I'm usually not upset for the reason I think." And another one that I had to read a few times: "God grant me the serenity to accept the people I cannot change, the courage to change the one I can, and the wisdom to know it's me."
Peanut was going to do a post here, but all she wanted to talk about were Auntie's cats and miniatures. She described each one in detail "Milkshake is lovely and slim...Callie is a bit shy..." and I decided to pass for now.
She got to go on an outing with Grandma and Auntie to a few of her crazy-ass friends -- I mean no offense here -- but I'm sure you'd agree her mates are fringe-of-society type people.
Fortunately, this helps with her great story telling! At one point I even asked her, "Do you have any mainstream friends?" She smirked and replied, "Not many."
Well, anyway, Peanut got to go meet a few. This involved witnessing Auntie's finesse at getting in and out of her van, driving without the use of her feet, and meeting her quadriplegic friend and others in the nursing home. When they returned from their outing, Auntie was stunned that the only thing she seemed fascinated by were the exotic birds they had in the foyer! In fact ,she was dying to show me her pictures. I just love my Peanut.
Doodle says her favorite part of Arkansas was "riding in Auntie's lap and also the ferris wheel and also the sweet tea. Yu-uh-uh-um."
Little Man has been dying to do a post for his friends to read. (He told me he thinks he's really good at it.) Auntie borrowed 2 small extra wheelchairs for the kids and Little Man quickly became an expert (this is normal in case you hadn't clued into that yet). He figured out how to break, turn, spin, etc. all on his own. At one point in the kitchen he looked at Auntie who's been in a wheelchair for 32 years and said, "Look at this. If I hold on here with this hand, and roll the other wheel with this hand, I can turn! Want me to show you how?"
Here are his own words:
"I liked too much stuff there that I couldn’t tell it all. I’m going to forget things. There was a wheelchair that I fit in and I knew how to work it. There was a medium sized oil tank, but it wasn’t a toy so we couldn’t play with it. Auntie is in a wheelchair, but I didn’t tell her she was in a car accident because that would have made her sad. It was so hot and there was a skunk in her backyard that had babies but I didn’t see them. I did make them some skunk stew out there!
I went to a covered wagon at the Fort. But it wasn’t from Little House -- it carried barrels of sugar and coffee. There weren’t any horses on it anymore. Hey, my covered wagon pencil sharpener still needs a little horse to pull it! And I got to climb on a real canon, and they were real, but they didn’t have any more canon balls on them. And I saw the place where they hang the people from ropes. The Judge did it because they were shooting people with guns. And Native Americans were shooting Native Americans, too! We got so many bug bites. They look like mosquitoes, and they act like mosquitoes, but they’re really grass bugs. They kept me awake all night because I kept on scratching them. And now I get blood all over my legs but it washes off."
Back at the turn of the century this place defined the law of the Wild West. "Indian Territory" had a lot of problems – not so much whites vs. natives, but rather natives vs. natives. (Local tribes weren’t extremely welcoming when entire tribes from the Southeast were plopped down in their backyards. Incidentally, the new arrivals from the Everglades weren’t very thrilled to be living in Oklahoma.) This was the time of Judge Parker, who ordered over 300 hangings in an attempt to keep order in the chaos of this area. We learned that he actually had a good side, too. He believed that being an Indian didn't make you a criminal, and he supported Women’s suffrage.
This National Park went right over the kids heads, although Peanut managed to earn yet another Junior Ranger Badge. Clearly, I hadn’t been teaching them enough about hangings and relocations on the road. Quite frankly, I was ignorant about Ft. Smith's history before arriving. When we got here, I didn't even realize that Ft. Smith was nearly the final stop on the Trail of Tears route. How embarrassing! At least I'm teaching my kids that one can continue to learn...
The small bit I knew, came from a favorite Linguistics professor, who did extensive research on the Choctaw language. A somber experience indeed. It's interesting to see the kids try to rationalize our actions. I'm sincerely trying to teach accountability to the kids and I'll simply respond to Peanut, "Look, this is a terrible part of our history. We failed at this and in many ways we're still failing here. But accept that it's a piece of our history and let's just keep trying to be better humans." Little Man will say things like, "Well, we were the Native Americans." He'll come up with anything to imagine holding the power in a bow and arrow. So I just shake my head, "Nope, we were the Europeans."
I’ll tell you one thing, Ft. Smith wins the prize for Best Ranger. John Boy Walton’s brother Jason greeted us and then took the kids under his wing, showing them pelts and cowboy gear. He answered a million questions and provoked even more. We were discussing Arkansas hillbilly stereotypes, and he told us this hilarious story (I think it’s actually a song):
"Once there was a traveler going through Arkansas and it started to rain. He found a family who took him in, but there was a big hole in the ceiling. The rain was just pouring in! So, he looked at the man and said, “Why don’t you fix that hole in the roof?” He replied, “Well, I can’t very well fix it when it’s raining!” The man answered back, “I know, but why don’t you fix it when it’s not raining?” The man simply said, “Well, it ain’t leaking then!”
To hear the Ranger tell this story in his slurred speech, had us in hysterics!
After melting in St. Louis (heat index of 115 degrees), a quickie storm blew in and Arkansas cooled off just in time for our arrival. We’re still the sticky kind of miserable, but now we move our limbs and respond when spoken to. More importantly, now we understand that occasionally, with a cup of sweet tea in hand, 101 degrees can feel cool.
On a trolley ride, we got into a conversation about where we live and the possibility of earthquakes. I said that likely it’d be a volcano that takes us out. They shook their head as if to say, “Wow, I can’t believe you choose to live there.” I immediately retorted, “But look at your natural disasters: You have storms, tornadoes, floods – and they happen over and over!” The man shook his head unaffected, “Nah, we got fraidy holes to climb into for that stuff!” I just about lost it.
Seriously, Ft. Smith just had an awful storm. Evidence to the damage is impossible to ignore. Most homes and buildings lost all windows on the West side – beautiful buildings – boarded up like they’ve been deserted. My cousin told me they had golf ball size hail. I’d heard that term before but never could imagine it. Then I saw a car with dents on the hood and huge cracked “stars” all over the front window. If she sends me the picture of her holding 3 pieces of hail (filling up her entire hand), I’ll post it here. My jaw hit the floor when I saw it. (Hey cousin, thanks for the image!)
Keep in mind that Ft. Smith had already lost buildings in the historic district, those with more than 3 stories, to a tornado about 10 years ago. Cleverly, the city kept several of the historic building fronts, adding a unique charm to the place. My cousin also told me that a famous bordello got blown 3 blocks away, and they decided to just leave it in its new location. Isn't that funny?
I’ve told bits of this story along the way, but here’s some more. When I left Texas for good (at 19, with my cat, in a U-haul) my first driving goal was to get to Little Rock, AR. I stopped for gas somewhere south of Little Rock, and it remains one of my Top 5 scary road trip memories. I could feel every hillbilly eye on me as I pulled in, and every eye followed me down the aisle to the snacks, and then to the pay phone to utter the following words to my sister, “My goal was to make it to Little Rock. I’m here and my new goal is to get the hell out of this state as soon as possible!” Back in the truck and I drove another four hours or so to Memphis.
Another of my Top 5 scary road trip memories was also in Arkansas. I was driving from New York to visit my family in Texas and again stopped somewhere for gas. While I ran to the bathroom, my friend started asking questions about the war (Gulf War) and a guy with a mouth dripping with chew replied, “Well, first they were just sending the niggers over there, but now I guess their sending whites, too.” And he stared us down long and hard. Once again, my number one goal was to get out of the state!
On this trip, however, nearly a decade later, Arkansas was unrecognizable. I entered from the Northwest and in Little Man's words, "Oh my!" Such is the beauty of the Ozarks! With all the money in Arkansas (plenty of WalMart millionaires about town), there was a definite Country Club feel that shocked me. Our destination was Ft. Smith to see my aunt, which I’d always imagined to be a small town similar to the previous places I’d visited.
Boy, was I wrong. Stopping for gas, I was stunned when three normal looking guys (one old and two young) got out of the way to hold the door open for me. I looked at them and said as I walked through, "Hellooo Arkansas!"
